mona and furniture

 

my sweet mona.  the Lord is using her to teach me something.  i'm still not sure whether it is patience, temper control or something else.  but let it be known...i apparently haven't quite grasped it yet.

 

my counter, full of vegetables and fruit, makes me happy.  i utilized bountiful baskets for the first time today and i for see a long relationship between myself and this food co-op.  if you are in the utah/idaho area, you should try it!

papa finally [and in my opinion, sadly] sold his home in pennsylvania.  we knew it was coming, but it is still hard to convince myself i will never go back there, breathe in the air of the surroundings and soak in the comfort of gem-le-ar.  in preparation of receiving some furniture and dishes in the next month i am clearing out and reorganizing a few things.  

goodbye to the old gross, spaghetti stained tupperware (i bought new stuff, yay!).  adios to the green and orange dishes - i can't wait for the new to me everyday wear and retro green iced tea glasses!

we are getting to twin beds, bed frames, dresser and a side table that papa used when he was a boy.  i am so grateful to be able to keep these in the family and have them in my home.  to make room for the set we decided to take this old dresser and make it into a bench/storage area.  this would look really good if we had a large entry area, but for now it will make do in the living room.

ideology

i am doing a study on worship.  just started last week, using an old devotional book i bought years ago.  last night i began a section about 'who/what' we worship.  i am learning things folks.  i know, as most do, that as a believer my only object or focus of worship should be God.  a life lived in response to His character and salvation.  but that is in a perfect world, one in which we do not reside.  so who or what is my idol that keeps me from worshipping with my whole heart?  have i ever really admitted it?  the more i understand my struggle, the better i can overcome it, right?

people usually spout off the usual - money, cars, school, music, fame, materialism, etc - which are all valid idols.  i'm sure i have idolised these in the past, but when trying to identify what occupies my mind most i really struggled to pinpoint something. 

in hopes to grasp at something to fix, my first go to answer is money.  but i hate money, i don't love it.  i don't desire ridiculous amounts of it.  i just have issues with the control of it, or lack thereof.  not wanting to just settle with this diagnosis, knowing it wasn't the whole problem.  i asked john.

this was a brave move.  "okay, so i want you to be totally honest, do not hold back, tell me what i worship more than God, what is my biggest idol?"  (you should ask someone this question...it's always eye opening to see yourself through someone else's eyes).  his philosophical answer (paraphrased in my words) that i never would have been aware of:

my idol is not tangible.  my idol is an ideology, an idea or a vision.  in a few words - control, structure, stability - and the desire to have others perceive me as capable.  as john and i discovered last night, it manifests in all sorts of ways, but that is the root issue.  i obsess over every penny we spend, or don't - i obsess about the house, decorations, laundry, dishes, etc - i obsess about what others think about the decisions john and i make for our family.  not that all these things are in order or perfect, but i am ALWAYS thinking about them, usually frustrated with them, and too often let it control my time.

this is honest.  genuine.  not sure why i'm letting you know.  but there it is.

we are to have no other gods, no idols in place of the One True God.  He ALONE is to be worshipped (not the budget, my friends or family, my house, etc - that clarification was for me).  he alone can change me.  i am willing, and i am watching with my eyes wide open. and we're working on it!

ha, ha!

i tend to do dumb things. :) (as verified by a few people and events this past week...you know who you are!) 

examples...

i posted about something that i shouldn't have, at least something that was not very wise to say to everyone in the world.  if you don't know, it's okay, but i can't say, otherwise i would be posting it again...and i'm not that dumb!

i went to visit john at work, tried to come in the door that he instructed but thought it was locked. then proceeded to find out that if i just would have pulled on the door rather than only trying the handle i could have gotten in.  not a big deal, right? right, but it's an electronic door, i said it was locked, IT guys made a call, just to find out it's fine.  yeah, so much for making a good impression :)

if you have ever heard my jokes or the ones that i deem funny...you'd give me a funny look (at least my husband does).  they are cheesy and usually not that clever, but i enjoy them none the less!

maybe that's why my husband loves me so...i make him laugh, or he always has something to laugh at :)

done anything dumb lately that i should know about? :p